Nollywood actress and writer Miriam Ogbonna has opened up about how hard it has become for her to find the kind of love she grew up watching, saying modern relationships now feel like military regimes full of rules.
In an Instagram reel, the actress said she has been wanting to talk about the subject for a while and hoped it would not come across as too vulnerable. She started by describing herself as someone who grew up around love.
“I watched my parents, aunts and uncles in love so I know what love is first hand. I’m a lover girl and that’s why it’s so hard for me to navigate this present era,” she said.
Ogbonna, who has previously shared frank views on relationships, intimacy and what she expects from partners, said the generation she now finds herself in operates with too many restrictions.
“This present generation that I’ve been thrown into where people have so many rules and regulations. Relationships now feel like military regimes,” she said.
She listed examples she keeps hearing:
“if I call you too much, I’m going to lose interest,” “if I see you too much, I’ll lose interest,” and rules about what people are not meant to do for each other, including buying gifts.
She pushed back against the idea that relationships and marriage are overrated.
“Nobody’s saying you can’t do life alone, but even in the Bible, God made Adam and Eve. If he felt we could do it alone, he’d have just left it at Adam. He created them together so they can be the ‘bone of their bone, flesh of their flesh’ so they could do things together in a partnership. Companionship,” she said.
The actress said the rules have made her cautious.
“I’m talking to somebody and I’m hearing so many rules and regulations that I’m not used to. The love I grew up watching is not the same love that I’m seeing these days. I’m scared to talk to people. Because if I start liking a guy now, he’ll start telling me we have to give ourselves break or that we don’t have to talk everyday, and me I want to talk everyday. I want to see you everyday if possible. I want to live inside your skin if possible.”
She ended with a direct question:
“Don’t we have people who love like that anymore?”
Ogbonna’s reel has drawn reactions online, with some agreeing that modern dating has become overly calculated and others saying constant contact and intensity can feel overwhelming. She has built a public profile as both an actress and a screenwriter, and she is known for speaking openly about relationships, sometimes in ways that spark debate. In earlier posts she has described herself as a real lover girl who takes connections seriously and does not entertain half-hearted energy.