Nollywood actor Deyemi Okanlawon has ignited fresh conversations about masculinity, emotional vulnerability, and the pressures men face after openly admitting that his wife is not always the first person he turns to during tough times.
In a recent interview on the Creativitea podcast that has since gone viral, the popular actor shared thoughtful insights on the traditional expectations placed on men while advocating for healing and support systems.
“First of all I am a man and we’re built to chest things. If you punch a man he has the ability to absorb that punch.”
He emphasised the protective instinct many men feel:
“My job is to protect the people around me. If an problem happens here now, the chances are I’m going to step in front. It’s what needs to happen, there’s no excuse.”
However, the actor stressed that strength should not mean suffering in silence. He encouraged men to be self-aware enough to seek healing when needed.
“Now you also have to be aware enough to find healing.”
Deyemi revealed he has built a strong support network for difficult moments:
“On my speed dial I have people that if I’m going through the worst times that I can talk to. I have a therapist on speed dial, I have my mentors on speed dial.”
He was candid about eventually turning to his wife when the burden becomes overwhelming:
“Let me just tell you the truth, when the thing is just too hard, there’s my wife. She’s not the first… because she’s dealing with her own business and raising the family. But when it’s hitting me too hard, I’ll wake her in the middle of the night and tell her to help me.”
The actor’s comments have divided opinions online. While some praised him for promoting emotional intelligence and seeking professional help, many others argued that a wife should be the primary confidant in marriage. Many men also resonated with the idea of “chesting” things until they can no longer bear it.